How to Make CVche  /sɛˈviːtʃeɪ/ 

This is a simple yet refreshing recipe that is perfect for those long days spent filling out application forms. It’s so versatile that you can use almost anything from job applications to art funding forms for this dish.

Start off by filling in a couple of sections in the form, this could be your name, the first line of your address or a couple of GCSE results. Put the form in a bowl and leave it in the kitchen for a couple of hours so that the burden of filling out the rest of it develops. Keep coming back to it to check on its progress, it should now be imbued with a sense of dread.

Stick it in the fridge for a few days to really let the anxiety develop, and when you look at it again, the thought of filling in your employment details should seem pointless. The final stage is simple, just stick it back in the fridge and forget about it, and with any luck, when you come back to it in a few days or weeks, the deadline for the application will have passed. Garnish with some chopped coriander.


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