40% of pastry still unemployed after leaving fridge

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New figures have revealed that 40% of chilled pastries are still looking for work. Flavoured and filo pastries are more likely to find themselves lying around kitchen worktops while 75% of puff pastries are in professional rolls. A wholemeal pastry talks about his experience:

‘I spent three hours in the fridge and I feel like I have nothing to show for it. Part of me wishes that I had done something more vocational instead, like adding layers of butter so that I could get into a secure roll. I feel my choices are quite limited. I can either do an unpaid blind bake to gain experience, or go back in the fridge for another hour, but I’m afraid I’ll go stale.’

Analysis of statistics found that unemployed pastries roll themselves out several times a day yet struggle to find tarts to accommodate them, increasing their chance of going soggy.

‘They say life’s too shortcrust to keep having existential crises, but I just can’t help crumbling every time I think about the wholemeal thing…’

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