On Rebecca’s Existential Friday

‘SevenA.Mwakingupinthemorninggottabefreshgottagodownstairsgottagetmybowlgottahavecereal…’ Thus begins Rebecca’s Friday morning routine, a continuous string of tasks that doesn’t seem to show any sign of ending. The very essence of banality is embodied and any prospect of salvation through rhyming or alliteration is out of the question.

Rebecca ponders over which seat to take in her friend’s car. Despite the banality of such a decision, she makes it clear that the two seats in question accommodate different actions. She has the choice of either ‘kicking in the front seat’ or merely ‘sitting in the backseat.’ It would seem that the former is a decisive action against this oppressive routine, whereas the latter is an embodiment of non-progression, a possible continuation of indecisiveness   – choosing this would be quite literally take a back seat.

And as Rebecca sits between her two friends in the rear of the vehicle, her position on this dilemma is made clear. However, she has merely placed herself there without actually deciding on the action, and avoids any questioning of this by reiterating what day of the week it is.

Rebecca seems to draw a compromise, a middle ground between the front and the back seats, by standing, (rather than sitting) in the back seat. However much she tries to tell herself that she is escaping the idea of Bad Faith through this radical action, she is only perpetuating that very thing. This is so due to her various hand gestures and movements gaining some significance now that she is standing. For sitting in the back seat of a car is an action in itself, a self-actualising thing, whereas standing attracts a certain expectancy. Is her upright stance not a precursor to something quite remarkable? A performance of a spectacular nature that in turn will allow her to transcend through to the front of the vehicle? In this case, no.

She can only present dulled gestures to accompany the things she says, her limbs become extensions of her anti-decision, and in turn her friends on either side become extensions of this very thing. They dance in a way that is void of all certainty, just half gestures and signs of self-consciousness (such as playing with one’s hair.) Soon Rebecca’s words are subsumed by this bout of Bad Faith, giving way to inconsequential observations such as

 ‘My friend is on my right.’

At one point she appeals to us,

‘You know what it is’

What exactly is it? This is evidently a cry for help, a plea to bust her out of the banal moving vehicle that isn’t going anywhere. Unfortunately, no one comes to her aid at this point and all she can muster is the repetition of her seat dilemma, thus reinforcing that despite having supposedly made her choice, she in fact didn’t make one at all. A slight raise in pitch makes it clear that this is her constant endeavour, but one that is continuously put off as she once again descends into Friday.

‘Yesterday was Thursday, today it is Friday…Tomorrow is Saturday, and Sunday comes afterwards.’

A bridge, a connecting device from one place to another. But what becomes of it when it doesn’t lead anywhere, but merely remains a floating area above a liminal space. Rebecca finds herself exactly in such a place, referring to an irrelevant past, reiterating an exhausted present and looking towards an uncertain future. She mentions that she is excited, but it is an empty excitement, a hollow apprehension of an event that shall probably never come to pass. This isn’t a problem however, for she seems content to remain in this state, she doesn’t want it to end. It is just an endless series of deferrals, manifested now in a rapper cruising through the same roads. He is a ghost of the liminal future unable to change lanes on a Bad Faith highway, and after years of imprisonment he is understandably frustrated,

‘Passin’ by is a school bus in front of me, Makes tick tock, tick tock, wanna scream’

Perhaps this is where Rebecca is destined. For her it is and always will be Friday, on the cusp of a decision that will never be made, cruising down that same highway for eternity. She doesn’t seem to mind however, for she is determined to have fun, quadrupled.

 

 

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